Admitting to Burnout

It's been awhile since I've last posted. The last few months have been overly exhausting and I've found myself having to admit to burning out.  Each week felt like I was on this high energy for 5 days to compensate for having to stay on top of work activities. Immediately following, I would drop from my high alertness and crash Friday evenings through Sunday to recoup and process everything that had happened. As I'm typing this, I feel drained of energy. 

In recent weeks, I've started to question whether or not I've taken the right career path. As a manager, I feel the need to protect my team regardless of how they're performing. As a leader, I feel the need to constantly upkeep the positivity around the workplace even when I'm feeling the opposite or having a bad day.  There are days where I'm just tired and exhausted of it all, but I know my emotions greatly impact that of my team and colleagues. 

Last week, I started the process of reassessing what I wanted and starting to apply for different positions outside of my current company.  I thought it would give me a sense of relief, a sense that I'm taking a step in the right direction. Yet, I feel this overwhelming guilt because I still do enjoy my team and cross-functional management team.  For the first time in a long time, I feel at odds with my career and what I've achieved.  I feel defeated, and it's been the toughest thing for me to accept that I am just burned out.  I do hope I overcome this feeling. This feeling of always feeling bad, and instead start focusing on my health and mental wellbeing.